


Package

by my_deer_friend



Series: My Deer Kinktober 2020 [11]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Kinktober, Kinktober 2020, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Sex Toys, this is really pretty silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27046546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_deer_friend/pseuds/my_deer_friend
Summary: John forgets to check the product information when placing an online order.---(Prompt 16 - size difference, Lams)
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Series: My Deer Kinktober 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947265
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	Package

When Alex gets home, John is sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop open in front of him and his face in his hands. 

“Hey, I’m home,” Alex calls, because he’s not sure John has noticed him.

John says something muffled into his hands. Alex walks over and sees John is red to the tips of his ears. He leans down and kisses the crown of his head, then puts his hand down on John’s shoulder.

“Everything okay?”

John mutters something indistinct.

Then Alex notices a nondescript brown box next to them on the table. He reaches for it.

“No, no, don’t--!” John protests, but it’s too late because Alex has already flipped open the lid. His eyes widen. Inside the box is a fairly realistic-looking beige dildo - or it would be realistic, if it wasn’t absolutely  _ massive. _ It’s about as thick as a soda can, and about twice as long.

Alex snorts. “Um. John. Is there something I should know?”

“Only that I’m an idiot,” John groans.

“That’s not new information.”

“Ha, thanks,” John retorts, but there’s no bite. He waves towards the laptop screen. “I didn’t think to check the size when I placed the order. I was just looking up the info for how to return it.”

Alex eyes it thoughtfully. It’s obscene, yes. But it’s so comically oversized that it’s almost like it’s mocking him, and Alex is not one to back off from a challenge.

“Or we could, you know - keep it?”

John balks, but he shrugs. “Look, it’s your funeral. But I’m not letting that thing anywhere near me.”

“I won’t keep it if it’s going to make you feel insecure…” Alex teases.

John goes a little more pink but he raises an eyebrow, then reaches around Alex’s lower back and tugs him closer, sliding his bent leg between Alex’s and pressing his face into his stomach, breathing hotly as he nuzzles up along the midline of his belly. 

“That’s not the tune you were singing last night,” John murmurs into the fabric of Alex’s shirt and - oh, hello, this is all doing very pleasant things to him.

“Mmm. Still…” 

Alex reaches over and picks the oversized dildo up out of the box - wow, it’s heavy, too, and just a little bit flexible under its own weight. John cringes at the sight of it being waved around and buries his face more firmly in Alex’s shirt.

Alex studies it carefully, then in a fit of curiosity, raises it to his mouth. The end is tapered and a little narrower than the main part of the shaft, so he opens up his lips and tries to get them around it. The tip just about squeaks in, but his mouth is pulled open to its limit well before he reaches the widest point of the molded head.

He takes his second hand off John’s shoulder to give himself a better angle, and tries again. No. Determined as he might be, it’s really just physically too big to go in any further.

Then he spots John looking up at him with wide, dark eyes.

His mouth is full, so he raises an eyebrow and gurgles, “Wha’?”

“You’re--” John’s voice cracks and he clears his throat. “Why are you doing that?”

“D'nno,” Alex shrugs, but he keeps it there, because the look John is giving him is absolutely blistering.

“Too big for even your big mouth?” John murmurs.

Alex rolls his eyes and tries another angle, but he can’t manage it. He feels the saliva starting to pool in his mouth.

Then in one sudden, flashing motion, John grabs the backs of his thighs and hauls him forward and up as he stands from the chair. Alex instinctively wraps his legs around John’s hips as he's hoisted into the air - and the moment he does it, he feels John’s rock hard cock pressing up against him. 

Alex smiles lewdly around the thing still in his mouth as John hauls him to the bedroom and drops them both onto the bed. 

John kneels between his thighs and pushes them apart, then leans down over Alex’s face. Alex is still gripping onto the dildo with both hands, and he runs his tongue teasingly around the massive silicone head.

John gives him a wicked grin. “You wanna see where else that won’t fit?”


End file.
